I want to move forward not backward so why would I want feed back?
My background is in education and training. I have learnt so many ways of giving feedback; rules, procedures, tips, guides and protocols. I learnt how to receive feedback and how agreements should be made between the giver and receiver. I experienced few people ever following any of this! Finally I realised feedback is problematic.
Then along comes my systemic training at the Bert Hellinger Institute in the Netherlands and my pioneering teacher, Jan Jacob Stam who introduced me to “Feedforward”. What a revelation! Thankyou Jan Jacob.
I can hear so many voices; ‘ How are you going to keep growing? How are you going to
“independently” assess your performance? What are you frightened of, you will receive
“constructive” feedback? ’ The simple answer is I am not frightened, I am still growing, feedback is usually not independent and while it may aim to construct something it probably will not be my highest self.
From a systemic perspective feedback comes from one person (and potentially all the systems they belong to) to another person (and potentially all the systems they belong to). Ahh so much potential for entanglement and for patterns to be reinforced. The effect I have experienced most of my life is that patterns from other systems want to land on me when I am receiving feedback and no doubt, mine were looking for platforms when I was giving.
This is not helpful and makes me want to break free i.e. don’t give me feedback please, especially when I have not asked for it, no matter how experienced or well-meaning you are. I won’t give you feedback for no matter how hard I try, I somehow feel secretly superior, when I know I am not.
Feedforward is when I, as the giver, am in touch with the unused life force of the receiver and with the evolutionary forces moving that person toward their destiny. Life energy wants something from them and I am in service to this! I am working for the people who will benefit from the highest expression of their unused energy. I stand to the side, the person receiving is free of me and life is able to flow forward.
In Jan Jacob’s words, ‘feedforward is a ruthless invitation to follow your destiny’, then we can work with the patterns of loyalty that may be keeping you in the same position you are in today.